And We Struggle On
by OnlyHere4Puckabrina
Summary: MAJOR SEASON 4 SPOILERS! At the end of the season, everyone is just trying to work out how to move on with their lives.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! First time posting in this fandom. I LOVE Lucifer, and I just had to get my feelings out after binging all of season 4. SPOILERS AHEAD!**

**I don't own anything.**

* * *

He was gone. He was gone and this time, she knew, he would not be coming back. That certainty was worse than anything. Even more than the time she had entered his penthouse to find the furniture covered with those awful white sheets, or when he had run off to Las Vegas on her birthday. She had never had those two instances fully explained to her, but she knew now that they had been a result of his fear and insecurity. And she could not hold that against him.

She could not hold this against him either. He had left to protect her; protect all humanity. But that had not stopped the massive, gaping hole she felt at his loss.

He was _gone_.

She could no longer hold back the wracking sobs.

* * *

It took months before he knew he was strong enough to return. He would not go see her, he was certainly not strong enough for _that_, but he could go see his brother and his nephew, and Maze. Just a quick trip, to check in, and then back, before the demons realised. They were still restless, but so was he. He didn't think he could stay here much longer.

Linda jumped when she turned around to find her old patient suddenly materialise in her house. "God! Lucifer!"

"Two very different people, I assure you," he grinned.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "Chloe said you…you went back…"

"Uh, yes, I did. I, um, just wanted to check in. See how you were doing."

"Luci?" Amenadiel entered with a broad smile, carrying five-month-old Charlie. He embraced Lucifer.

Linda looked between the two of them, sensing the words she knew Lucifer was holding back. She took her son and said, "I'm just going to put Charlie down for his nap."

Amenadiel handed him off and turned to Lucifer. "How are you, brother?"

"Back to ruling Hell," said Lucifer blandly. "It's Hell."

Amenadiel nodded, waiting.

"I wanted to see how you were getting on with your life here, brother."

Amenadiel smiled now, practically glowing with contentment. "I love being a father, Luci. It's so fulfilling. I know I've finally found my task. And Maze has finally given her blessing for me and Linda to marry, so we're engaged!"

"Well, be sure to invite me to the wedding," replied Lucifer, "though I'm not sure everything will be settled by then so I might not make it."

There was a brief pause. Then Amenadiel said, "Maze is doing well too. She took over Lux, you know, with Eve. Apparently they're together now."

Lucifer nodded. "I'm glad for them."

Another pause. Amenadiel knew what his brother wanted to ask, and thought he ought to put him out of his misery. "Chloe's doing okay," he said quietly.

Lucifer hung his head, which was all the signs Amenadiel needed to know that this was what Lucifer both wanted and dreaded to hear.

"She misses you, Luci. We all do."

"Yes, well…" Lucifer trailed off, gazing back towards the door, longing for escape.

Amenadiel understood. "It was good to see you, Luci."

"And you, brother." Lucifer just managed a strained smile, which disappeared almost at once.

Sensing the end of the conversation, Amenadiel turned to go back to his fiancé and son.

"Amenadiel?"

He turned back. "Yes?"

"Would you…would you give the detective a message from me?"

Amenadiel nodded. "Of course, Luci."

* * *

Trixie was Chloe's refuge, but she still had to go to work. Her usual tactic of throwing herself onto every new case helped somewhat, but it wasn't the same without her devilish partner at her side. Lucifer had managed to so completely dominate her life that it was hard just getting through a single day without him. But the alternative of going home to stew on her couch was worse.

Ella and Dan both took it hard. Neither knowing the truth, Chloe was forced to lie and say Lucifer had died saving Charlie from his kidnappers. After she broke it to them, the forensic scientist became almost fanatical with her re-found faith, while Dan, only just starting to heal from Charlotte's death, became a zealot in his desire to catch criminals. Chloe hated doing that to him, knowing he still harboured guilt over how he had treated Lucifer, but she could now fully sympathise with him in his loss.

Amenadiel visited the precinct one day.

"Hey, Chloe, can I speak with you?"

Chloe looked up from her paperwork and felt a familiar pang at the sight of Lucifer's brother. "Um, sure, Amenadiel. What's up?"

The angel glanced around and lowered his voice. "Luci wanted me to give you a message."

Chloe felt her stomach take a dive and the blood drain from her face. She stood up abruptly. "He's here? Lucifer's here?" She tried to dart past Amenadiel to run out and greet him, but she was caught and held in an impenetrable grasp.

"No, Chloe, he's not."

"…Oh." Hopelessness came crashing back in, sinking her again.

"I'm sorry, Chloe. He said it would be too hard, seeing you."

She bobbed her head rapidly, trying to quell her fresh tears. "Of course. Yeah. What was the message?"

"He said…" Chloe couldn't stand the look of pity on his face, so she fixed her eyes on the floor some ten feet back and to the left of him. "He said he'll always watch over you and that…he'll be waiting for you."

Chloe took several moments to process this. She had no doubt they were true. After all, her partner never lied. Even ruling over Hell, he would find a way to protect her, no matter what. And he would wait for her. That meant she would see him again. She didn't know if that meant she was headed to Hell when she died, but at the moment she didn't care. That was where Lucifer was.

She looked back up at Amenadiel, unshed tears shining in her eyes, but a smile on her face for the first time in five months when she was thinking of her partner. "Thank you."

He nodded and gave her a brief smile, then turned and left.

Chloe went back to her desk and pulled up a picture. She had taken to staring at this photo in every spare moment. It showed Trixie, herself and Lucifer right after he had won a teddy bear at a carnival game. It had been a good day, and was one of her favourite pictures.

She wished she could have taken a picture of him in full Devil mode. Truth be told, most of the times she had seen it she was focussed on not hurling her guts out, but after she had seen it a few times…

She closed her eyes and pictured him facing down a horde of demons to protect her, skin red and raw, with huge, batlike wings spread out on either side.

He had been glorious.

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**R&R, let me know what you think. I'd love some constructive criticism.**


	2. Queen of Hell

**Hey, guys. Sorry this took so long to post. I can only say: Life.**

**Plus I was trying to get it just right, seeing as this chapter is only in existence because of all those lovely people who followed, favourited and reviewed this story. You guys are awesome. This is dedicated to you.**

**Remember that my other Lucifer fanfic, Celestial Gifts, is kinda like a partner to this one.**

**I don't own Lucifer, or its corresponding characters.**

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Years passed.

Chloe grew used to not having Lucifer around, although of course she could never forget him. Her Devil had always had a way of making sure she wouldn't, and it seemed as though his 'death' was no different. Every few months would bring a message or a small gift from the King of Hell. Once it was a pure white feather from his wings, another time it was a nude photo of him.

Chloe made the mistake of opening _that_ gift at work. When she saw it, she gave a loud yell and slammed it down on her desk and was very nearly caught by Ella. She couldn't imagine how she would have explained how she managed to get such a picture two years after Lucifer's death. Come to think of it, how had _he_ managed to take that picture? They didn't have cameras in Hell, did they? Needless to say, from then on any and all gifts sealed with the Devil's signet ring were opened far away from prying eyes.

Amenadiel had told her that she could pray to him, and he would hear her. Though this communication was only one-way, she found comfort knowing she could speak to him at any time, and perhaps see a reply the next time he sent a letter through Amenadiel.

He never came to see her.

She understood that it was hard enough for him to stay in Hell at all, but knowing he visited Amenadiel, Linda, Charlie, Maze and Eve bothered her. She told him so one night as she prayed. The next gift she received had been the photo of him, with a note reading:

"Now you'll see more of me than anyone else, Detective 😉"

Despite the shock and the nearly-getting-caught, she had to laugh. It was just so…_Lucifer_.

The rest of her life progressed. Chloe concentrated on work and Trixie. She often went out with Ella, Linda and Maze and even Eve. The latter three were now all in happy relationships, and Ella eventually found someone too. She kept bugging Chloe to go out with people again, which Chloe had never had a lot of time for even before Lucifer. The others said he would understand if she _did_ want to find someone else, and Maze quickly brought the conversation to a screeching halt with a few _very_ graphic stories of the sorts of things they had done together in Hell.

Chloe was rather disturbed to realise that of her four girlfriends, three had slept with Lucifer. But it made her realise that she shouldn't wait around for…whenever she would see him again. So she went out with other guys. But none of them quite measured up to her Devil.

Trixie started high school. Chloe made lieutenant, though not one to sit behind a desk, she still took a very active part in the cases of her detectives, and often accompanied Dan on his cases. They had always been good partners.

Trixie graduated high school and started college. And Chloe found herself feeling bereft once again living alone in the house. So she spent more time at work. And then it happened.

Chloe was shot in the line of duty.

She blinked hazily, vaguely recognising Dan's face floating above her. He was shouting at her. Her name, she thought. "Chloe, stay with me! The ambulance is on its way. Stay with me, Chlo!"

Lights were flashing. They hurt her eyes, so she shut them. Something smacked her cheek, and Dan was yelling again.

Chloe couldn't dredge up the energy to think of anything except Trixie. Trixie!

The thought of her daughter made Chloe open her eyes. "Trixie!" she tried to say.

Dan's face reappeared. "It's okay, Chlo. You'll see Trixie soon. You're gonna make it through this." His face disappeared as he looked up to speak to someone.

Chloe heard his urgent tone, but couldn't make out the words. "Trix…" she mumbled. "I love you, Monkey." Her eyes were drifting shut again, her strength ebbing out of her.

"Hold on, Chloe!" Dan ordered, but she didn't hear him. All she was aware of was a familiar figure seemingly walking towards her out of the blackness that surrounded her, and it made a contented smile appear on her face.

_Don't worry, Detective. I've got you now._

Chloe opened her eyes.

Blinking the fuzziness from her mind, she tried to take in her surroundings, but they were eluding her reasoning.

She was standing on a rocky precipice, overlooking a vast grey landscape of columns, extending as far as she could see. She looked down at herself, and found her clothes were clean and unmarked, not the mess they had been when she was laying dying in the ambulance.

She had died.

There was a small sound from behind her, and she whirled around.

"Careful, Detective." Lucifer grabbed her elbow to prevent her falling over the edge. "Although," he added with a slight frown, "that may not be so dangerous…"

Chloe glanced back at the sheer drop, which was so high she couldn't see the ground. "What do you mean?" she asked. "Because I'm already dead…?"

"Oh, no, you'd still feel it," Lucifer assured her. "Humans can still feel pain in Hell, so they can be tortured. But being unable to die, you'd feel all the pain with no release. Rather like Cain being forced to live forever."

She shuddered. "Is he…?"

"Oh, he's here." Lucifer gave her a small, savage smile. "Now all the Hell he experienced on Earth is being repeated for him. He's actually in a new section I've recently created, over there." He gestured towards a stretch of columns that looked just like the rest to Chloe.

"What's over there?" she asked.

"Everyone who's tried to harm you."

She turned back to face him, shock written all over her face. He just smiled back at her. "Only the ones that have come to me," he clarified, "so far."

They stared at each other for several moments, getting lost in each other's eyes. Chloe almost forgot what she had wanted to say. "Um…what did you mean, then? That falling wouldn't be dangerous?"

A frown creased his brow again. He took a step closer, as though to hug her, but his fingers just trailed lightly down her back before he stepped away again. An electric shock ran down her spine.

"That's what I mean," he said.

Confused, Chloe craned her neck to try see what he had done. And screamed in shock.

Huge, feathery wings were spread out behind her. They were a few shades darker than Lucifer's pure white, a pleasant honey colour that matched her hair. They quivered with her every movement; she could feel the weight of them like two extra limbs. She twitched her right shoulder, and the feathery expanse moved as well. They were undoubtedly hers.

Lucifer was speaking. "It appears my father has plans for you. You've become a kind of celestial… rather like Charlie."

"Lucifer," Chloe said in the scolding tone she hadn't used for years, but which returned so naturally, "whatever plans your father may _or may not_ have, they didn't prevent me returning to you. And _I_ don't plan on going anywhere." She rolled her shoulders back and the new weight on her back vanished.

Lucifer smiled. It was the smile Chloe had been pining to see for some fifteen-odd years: the one that both dazzled and infuriated her.

"Neither do I, Detective," he said easily. "I am the King of Hell, after all."

"I guess that makes me the Queen, then," Chloe smiled, stepping forward so she could slide her arms around him.

He smiled at her embrace and rested his hands on her shoulders. "I like the sound of that. My Queen. Queen of Hell." Then he kissed her, and Chloe felt as though her world had just been completed.


End file.
